2022
NOVEMBER – DECEMBER
“Is Google male or female?
Female, because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.”
SEPTEMBER – OCTOBER
”I got all sentimental when I saw my husband looking at our marriage certificate for half an hour…
Then I found out he’s been looking for an expiry date.”
JULY – AUGUST
“If you think you are smarter than previous generations…
50 years ago the owner’s manual of a car showed you how to adjust the valves.
Today it warns you not to drink the contents of the battery!”
(Rolleston news)
MAY – JUNE
The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a brief, fruitless search, he gave up. His mother took up the cause and within minutes found the lens.
– “How did you do that?” he asked.
– “We weren’t looking for the same thing, she explained. You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150.”
APRIL
I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5% raise.
Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me,
“By the way, which companies are after you?”
I responded, “The gas, electric, and cable company.”
